We have a solar system inside of us. Inside of us the Sun, Moon, and Stars. Inside of us, the Earth. On the Emerald Tablet of ancient Egyptian alchemy was the statement: “As above, so below.” From the macrocosm to the microcosm, among which is humanity.
To me this seems like the most extraordinary idea.
I see it everywhere now. From the Sacred Four Directions of the aboriginal and indigenous peoples to the Sacred Trees of Life that can be found at the foundation of world religions to the ladders that Siberian shamans climb to access the Heavenly realm. Within me. Within you.
My pathway to shamanism has been very eclectic. Unprecedented. Finding my way by bits and pieces to something calling for expression deep within me. Puzzling together aspects of learning, not always clear on where it was taking me, but a strong inner knowing made me aware that this was the step, and then the next. Gurdjieff work with a teacher I recognized from many associations over many lifetimes. Her death. Another Gurdjieff teacher. Time away from that to bear a child in my early forties, himself a teacher in presence and patience. Reiki. The Pachakuti Mesa carrier initiation. Studying with the Elements upon the advice of my second husband who had been a Shaman’s Apprentice. And then, the Norns came in through my relationship with the Angel of the Creek behind my home. Not one tradition, but many. And now I walk the Way of Yggdrasil, finding my way back into the elder traditions of my ancestors, step by step.
All of this seems so extraordinary to me. The Sun in me is the Solar Plexus. My second Gurdjieff teacher Donald Victor Petacchi used to say, “Let the Sun rise in your Heart.” When that happens, I give my personal will over to the higher will, and I am both humbled and full of love. My relationship with the GNG has grown, and I am able to live a life of service in a quiet way.
Loki came in to guide me the other day. My beloved Trickster. He was not gentle in that moment, because I was not paying attention. But he tricked me by confusing my cell phone, freezing my Kindle E-reader, and locking the steering on my car, and quite got my attention. I found myself back in that moment as a two-year old where I first felt unworthy and incapable. I needed to be freed form that behavior pattern.
I was shouting at him in my husband’s car on my way to work: “Why today? Why now? Why me?” Then I got very quiet. I said, “Thank you for answering my prayer to get to that first moment so that I can begin to heal this emotional pattern. Thank you for holding space with me while I vent and complain. Thank you. Why would you stand by me through all this?”
Loki’s answer was very quiet: “Because you are somebody worthy of love.”
We are all somebody worthy of love, whether we know it or not. Whether we allow that information in or not.
Loki hung with me for the rest of that extraordinary day. The day which started out so roughly turned around. Money came in unexpectedly to pay bills. My mood shifted. I did the weekly shopping a day early and found everything that had been empty on the store shelves in the preceding weeks: Hunt’s Fire roasted stewed tomatoes, a strainer, an oil splatter prevention cover, and salmon on sale. Mostly little things, but I felt so lucky and so grateful.
And Loki answered a question I’d asked years before: the Sun in me at my Solar plexus, the Moon in me at my Sacral chakra, the Eclipse of the Sun and Moon which takes place when I reflect my inner Sun on the Moon of memory, and allow the shadows of my past to rise into the light for self-examination.
May the Sun rise in your Heart.