God loves us. I absolutely have faith in that. The Gods love us. I absolutely have faith in that too. How do I know? I’ve tested it about every which way this side of Friday, and even though I meet myself in uncomfortable ways, and have been broken down in order that ego-mind may give way within me to something higher than myself, They pick me up and greet me with love, as with humility I rebuild my relationship with Them as often as it takes.
I just read an article on medium.com by Dan Foster called “There’s No Hate Like Christian Love.” He speaks of the nasty, judgmental things people often say or do – “in the name of love” – when their ego-mind prompts them that God is speaking and they must correct me – as they corrected Dan Foster in his Christian doctrine, simply because he was tolerant of the LGBTQ community and “sinners.” I know of no one who gets through life without some kind of “sin” if I wanted to put a label on it, and I don’t. I would rather call it life experience and hope the individual is able to learn and grow from it.
There are many reasons I broke with the Christian religion and that judgmental quality that some Christians have of correcting me without doing any real work on themselves became more than I wanted to tolerate. These people have a passive-aggressive quality that I am convinced is endemic in Christianity. The teaching to forgive and love one another has become submerged under the facade of niceness and never confronting our own negative emotions. So fuck being nice. I will settle for being kind. Have an issue with me? Don’t say, “God told me,” and then proceed to rip me apart based upon your personal beliefs. Take responsibility that what you believe does not jive with what I believe, and then let’s try to find a way to agree to disagree.
I have seen that pattern of behavior in myself and I am working to change it. I must continually guard my thoughts and my mind against it, because it will arise. But if I don’t want to be judged, then I ought not to judge. If I don’t want to be condemned, then I ought not to condemn. We are all human beings doing the best we can. So the fact that I am being critical now as I write of a certain type of person means that I am taking responsibility for the anger I feel at another person’s smug attitude of superiority is my own – it’s not my idea of God prompting me to put down another person.
I think that people often fail the Creator, because without knowing, without any wisdom in their actions, they create in their own minds the vision of God they want to see. People create God in their own image. And sometimes, if we truly love God, the Gods will reach down and correct us so that we might come into right relationship with the Divine.
Here’s an example from my own life. I was putting out a lot of hatred against our president. Loki came in and said “Don’t waste your good energy. We got this.” I persisted in hating our president. Loki came in and said, “You’re not paying attention.” He froze my Kindle reader. He enlarged the screen on my cell phone and I could not shrink it. As I was leaving for work, he arranged that I could not get my new-for-me car out of park. And he waited. That’s what Tricksters do: They lay the trick and they wait. I got in my husband’s aged car so that I would not be late for work. I have an hour’s drive: Time enough to get at myself. I felt sorry for myself. I felt a lot of things, but I began to think.
If I truly believe that we are all human and doing the best we can, the same must be said for Donald Trump. I don’t have to like him. I just have to pull back my hatred, lest I be judged by the same criteria I am judging. I yelled at Loki, “Why me? Why today? Why couldn’t I just get through this difficult week?” Then I got quiet, and I said, “Loki, thank you. I absolutely trust that you are helping me to see and be the truth of my self. I’m not always easy, but I absolutely trust you.” A moment passes and I sense Loki’s patience. I said, “Thank you for the gifts you, Odin, and Hoenir gave humanity. Thank you also for the obstacles and challenges in my life, even if I resist meeting them.” Then I quietly asked, “Why do you stay with me through my temper tantrums and all?” Loki’s answer was just as quiet, “Because you are somebody worth loving.” That brought the tears. Yes, the Gods love us.
By the way, the rest of that day went extraordinarily well. Being in right relationship with the Divine is to be in right relationship with the flow of life itself. That God loves us does not mean everything will go my way. Being in right relationship with the Gods is my way, even if that means embracing and accepting that what is asked of me does not always jive with my own will. And I am okay with that.