This New Moon in Libra has brought a lot of Norn energy in for me. In fact I took a broom to my kitchen this morning to sweep out harm and entanglements and bring in new energy. Sweeping is a very old tradition for women, and I was honoring that today. Then I went and began the process of raking leaves. I want my home and land sparkling for the changing seasons. I want a new start. It has been a year of challenges and good things too, especially in relation to people I love. Alan and I had time for the garden and for improving our home. The fact that so many people have been lost to COVID-19 has been an inspiration to me to let go of the shit that no longer serves me, and deepen my relationships with the people I love and the Gods.
After sweeping out old stale energy I walked around the house and sealed the windows and doorways against incidental harm. When I was done, home felt clean and good again, freed from the inner shadows I have been facing these past few days. The Norns held conversation with me, and I am to finish keeping old promises I made, something that seems so critical to me as I near the end of my life, and old age brings with it a slowing down of the physical body that I am honoring. So although my mind said finish the leaves (!!!) when my body said rest, I took it. More leaves will have fallen down tomorrow any way. The great maple that faces the road shelters the second great maple, and that too is now beginning the change from green to orange. It has really been a striking year for that orange leaf against the blue sky contrast.
So many things change toward the end of life. If I am lucky I will have years yet, but it will take work. I have type 2 diabetes, and diet and exercise alone no longer cuts the mustard. I have to work harder at keeping my portions small, and I do my best to substitute greens for breads and those high carb things that I used to love. Vegetable spaghetti has substituted for fettuccine and pasta. If my numbers have been down for a while, I allow myself homemade pizza. Everything in moderation! Moderation is in accord with the New Moon in Libra, so I am back into divine timing again. That feels good!
My son the Marine called today. He is excited to be out of restricted movement (he hung out with a buddy suspected of being exposed to Covid and both were lucky not to have it) and back on the training regimen. I am happy for him. He is living the life he has chosen, and although he misses home, he is happy to be serving our country. And even though I often feel I could have been a better mother, I couldn’t be prouder!
In fact it has been a divinely inspired day. I have been catching up on the book on Yggdrasil that I have been working on almost forever and hope to have the draft done by my November birthday for my friends to proof. I got some physical movement in. As mentioned, my son called. Life is movement, and while I still can, I will enjoy it. I hiked up to see Hem today with the dog, and when my time on Earth is over, I hope to follow the old custom, and merge with this tree that I love. Some people might think I’m morbid to think about my death, but I feel that death, like birth is holy. We have our birth and our death and what will we do with all the time in between? We can waste it, or we can make the most of the opportunities we are given. It’s really a matter of viewpoint.
I wasted years in a fantasy of life, but lately I’ve come to understand that the real is not only what can be seen, but what can be felt and experienced in moments of deep appreciation of beauty, principles, quietude, and those things that are too big for words, but give best of themselves through the feelings of the experiences. Of these I now most highly prize my relationships, not only with the people I love, but with beings of all types – my dog, my tree friends, the river that runs through the valley, and the Gods.
It is a prize to be old. The young don’t seem to realize that in their haste at living. I understand that. It was not too long ago that I was also young. I still feel young, and therein lives all the difference.