Writing Myself

Scrolling through the vast amount of literature people are sharing about themselves and the Norse Gods and Goddesses, I am both pleased and amazed. The Norns and Hela came to me in 2013 and said, “Share this!” I did not know how to begin. I grew up in an ultra Christian home and I had past life memories of the Burning Times. Meeting these Goddesses of Eldritch Eras threw me into an intense period of inner growth that included the bombing of old conditioning and fears. To honor the Old Gods – and Goddesses – I had to come out of hiding.

Not everyone is comfortable with such things, and a total conversion was not comfortable for me either. What I have come to recognize, through the marvel of polytheism, I can keep the best of my Christian roots and still be wholly open to the teachings of these Beings I have come to call the Goddesses of the Nitty Gritty. I call the Norns and Hela the Goddesses of the Nitty Gritty because they shake me to my core, encourage me to turn and face the shadows that inhibit my fullest life, and demand I seek the next step on my life journey, the next turn of the page as it were, instead of indulging myself by clinging to my comfort zone.

If I break down the teachings of Jesus for myself, I honor the teachings of forgiveness and healing. These are not exclusive to Christianity. Jesus was a Jewish Rabbi : Up and until the “powers that were” at the time Christianity was formed decided to make him God. But even those teachings are far older than that. The Triune Godhead is found not only in Father-Son-Holy Ghost, but also in the Celtic Triskelle, Odin’s Valknut, the three Norns (Past, Present, and Future), and even in what Gurdjieff termed Objective Science, where they are found as the active, passive, and neutralizing forces (Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson). The shape of Three is a part of the Mystery, one which can be incorporated into one’s study of one’s life and the flow of events across time.

I know a lot and I think a lot, inquiring into how this or that piece of information fits into my own life. But just because the Norns or Hela have said to me at one point “Share what you know,” that does not make me a leader or a preacher or a prophet. I don’t want to come at this process on a bully pulpit. I had too much of that shit as a child with the missionary zeal I experienced from the Protestant brand of Christianity my parents followed. So SHARING what I learn seems to be the key here, always with respect to another person’s willingness to consider what is shared and meaningful to their life process. The contemporary pagan communities that I tap into online call it UPG, an anagram for “Unverified Personal Gnosis.”

One of the contexts here is history. I’d like to make a pun and write “Her-story,” because in some ways this is. One of the earliest things my mother taught me as a child was, “Girls don’t ___________.” You can fill in the blank, but it was certain to be anything fun that I wanted to do. It included going topless at an early age when it didn’t matter because there were no budding breasts to be seen yet. The result was that I adopted the belief that boys have all the fun, power of choice, and no limitations on what they could do. I feel like I have been exploding that myth my entire life. But anyway…

I have learned that women do have power. We have the power to bring life into the physical realm. We have the power of creativity. We have the power of flow. We have the power of mystery and glamour. Our thinking need not be limited by the circumstances of time and space. So even though a reality check is a good idea (not to be overwhelmed by imagination), we can think and dream our way toward achievable goals and positive changes within the context of our lives.

When I came into what I consider my life’s work, it was under the old adage KNOW THYSELF. I did not recognize the clues when I was young that I would be working with the Norse Deities. In second grade, reading the Norse Mythology, I cried at the death of Balder. At 23, Odin called to me out of the fire. At 33, I drew a dream image that revealed itself later as the three Norns and Hela. In 2013 at the invitation of the Creek Vettir, the Norns visited me at my Mesa. I have been on a spiritual quest since I was young, and each step taken was a step toward educating myself as to what They would have me share. So anything related on this blog or in the books I am writing is both UPG and the story of my life.

Yet life is meant to be shared. It is through relationships that we learn and grow our souls. Your life is as valuable as mine, and we each take away something from meeting each other, whether in real life or in these electronic pages. Nor does it seem to matter whether we come into the journey to self/soul young or old. It’s only too late when life is over. I no longer think of the Revelations (Apocalypse) or the Ragnarok as an end of THE world, but an ending of my world – my birth and death and the life in between that. Both are Guides to the Mystery of Life. And I intend to be writing of that too.

Published by susanofthenorth

Susan Hintz Epstein is an author, Rune diviner, healer, non-academic scholar, and former Methodist Lay Speaker who was called by the Runes in 2013. The time since then has been a serpentine shedding of one skin for another, as Susan's spiritual practice with the Runes and the World Tree, Yggdrasil, deepened. Susan keeps company with the Norns and other like-minded women.

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