Well, I’ve been hard at work all summer at trying to turn my tutelary experiences with the Norns and Hela, Norse deities, into a complete draft of the book I’ve been working on since 2013. I know I have more work to do to tighten things up further, and make it more readable – I want the book to be “can’t put down” readable. It’s not there yet. But I needed a break from feeling too close to the work, so I took some time this afternoon to research finding a literary agent. There are many out there, and I hope to find a really good fit. I’m willing to take my time, as this book has taken it’s time. As all authors, I’m convinced I have a unique experience that can help others through sharing. I did find good information on putting together a submission package. That is my next project.
School starts the week after next, and I drive a school bus. It’s going to be a major shift of hats that I wear: from introverting to acting the extrovert; from driving a large bus, I am shifting to driving a special needs run; from having a relaxing summer at home to the coming cold months of anticipating the need to dig out from deep snows in order to arrive at school, just in case they don’t call a snow day. These are just the facts of life. There are still irons in the air. Some of the irons I am juggling feel like they still bear the heat of the blacksmith’s forge. In a certain way, all the choices that we make and the consequences which those choices bear, shape us as the heat of the forge and the hammering of the blacksmith’s hammer on the anvil shape the destiny of the iron. I have done some of that work in my life too, shaping shoes to fit a horse’s hoof. That was not work I was temperamentally cut out for, but I do have the experience of it.
Neuroscience has now decided that the human mind is truly wired for story telling. I think we all have stories worth telling and worth sharing. Most stories are worth being heard, with the caveat that the process is not one of venting negative emotions on the hapless listener. Instead, difficult life challenges can be overcome as acts of courage in taking on setbacks within the scenes of our unique life experiences.
Despite having said this, and having met mostly interest and compassion for my work, there is still a huge part of me that experiences what frequently published authors call the “imposter syndrome.” So there is an act of courage in moving forward in the faith that I have something important to share. These “in-between” moments shape us as surely as the blacksmith’s hammer. These in-between moments demand continuity or quit; be seen and risk vulnerability, or quit and never take the risk. I am ready to risk vulnerability as I truly believe in the final shaping, it makes me more human.