Chance & Choice

This morning I was thinking about how sometimes the Universe will arrange events to position us to make choices for our own happiness. Recently my son got married to a lovely girl after a short courtship of about three months. Chancy? Some would say so, but he had a series of events that happened to him – supposedly randomly – that pointed him in that direction, and they took it. I traveled down to his wedding, met the Bride’s family for the first time, and talked to people who felt like my son was their own. Since I feel the same way about their daughter, there wasn’t much to be said but “Thank you, Gods!”

I remembered risks I have taken in my life. Some worked out and some did not, but even when there was failure, I always – ALWAYS! – came away with some valuable lessons that encouraged me to take stock of my life and think about what went awry, and make choices that would get me the knowledge I lacked, or make the inner changes I needed in order to succeed. My son was raised with love and encouragement, and consequently learned to have faith in his own choices. My life situation was different, and the blame and diminishment I experienced left me rebellious and over-confidant on the surface, and controversially insecure and unworthy in my inner self. So I tried a lot and failed a lot, before I finally looked deep enough into my life experiences to see where I got in my own way.

Taking a chance is always a choice: Sometimes it leads to great things and other times it leads to failure. But failure can only diminish us if we allow it to. Diminishment and success are both choices – they are simply different points of view, like optimism and pessimism are different points of view. I used to tell my son when he was growing up that you only fail if you don’t try. If you don’t try, failure is virtually guaranteed.

I have said that it was when I decided to face the losses that were hidden within me that I became able to overcome those life patterns that caused me to fail over and over again. Mostly I learned to change up negative self-talk for positive self-talk. “I’m not worthy” became “I am SO worthy!” I learned to say to myself, “You are so valued and beautiful!” instead of, “You ugly, unloveable piece of excrement!” From feeling unloveable, I chose to feel loveable. I chose to stop blaming other people for my mistakes – and I chose to stop blaming myself for my mistakes. Yes, and failures too. I learned to take daily inventory of all I have accomplished in my life. I’ve done some bad, but I’ve done a lot of good too. The good things are growing, now that I have stopped choosing to perceive what might go wrong instead of what might go right.

I became cleared of all the mistaken and misguided beliefs that ran my inner life. And I’m very happy that I did, because now each day has become something of a celebration.

We can never accurately predict the world. The world is larger than us, and anything might occur in it. Chance leaves every opportunity for surprise. And surprise became fun, once I learned to step back from being such a control freak. So my new attitude? BRING IT ON!

Published by susanofthenorth

Susan Hintz Epstein is an author, Rune diviner, healer, non-academic scholar, and former Methodist Lay Speaker who was called by the Runes in 2013. The time since then has been a serpentine shedding of one skin for another, as Susan's spiritual practice with the Runes and the World Tree, Yggdrasil, deepened. Susan keeps company with the Norns and other like-minded women.

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