I was rattling my morning ceremony by the Creek this morning, and I could feel the natural world around me asleep, as if waiting for something. The air had the feeling of snow, and now, six hours later it is snowing. I believe that Nature has a lot to communicate with humanity when we develop the skills for listening.
It feels like a hard world to be in right now, with so much of the news full as it usually is of such negativity. Humans doing bad things to other humans (not to mention other species of life forms) out of greed is such an old story. I wonder whether we’ll ever see an Earth time without all of that greed, yet dwelling on all of that “stuff” can be depressing. I have to find ways to raise my happiness quotient every day.
At this time I am responsible for the body care of a family member healing from surgery. The self-pity can hit big time; I never wanted any of this. Yet as I watch the snow coming down, I am reminded of an old Joni Mitchell song, “…the seasons go round and round, and the painted ponies go up and down, we standing on the carousel of time, we can’t go back, we can only look behind from where we came, and go round and round and round in the circle game.” I will see my partner through this care, but I am becoming aware in an emotionally deep way that my need for the solitude to be a creative is heavier than meeting the physical needs of another person. So I am working to find ways to meet our mutual needs until he is back on his feet again. The way then opens to make other choices.
The old me would angst over whether these choices are good or bad. Neither. They are what they are. We are born singly into this world in order to make our way in it, discover what we are capable of, succeed and fail, learn from our mistakes, and in general just keep picking ourselves up in order to keep trying. It demands courage, reflection, kindred friendships of the kind that support and challenge us, and the ability to pause, breathe through stress, and move forward one step at a time. The Unknown is all around us. Sometimes it holds deep beauty, and sometimes great sorrow. We takes our lumps and moves on. And this is the way of life.
I watch the snow falling. The ways of Nature are as inevitable as aging, falling into and out of relationships, and meeting the needs of our life. I can find acceptance in that for the things I cannot control, even if I have to remind myself of that as often as every breath I take. One breathing practice I have learned for relaxing stress is to breathe in positivity and release negativity on the out breath. Que sera, sera.