Thoughts and stories shared enrich everybody.
Two weekends ago, I pulled up a very old rug in my bedroom. Underneath was nothing but powder left from the foam insulation pad. Then this past weekend, I put down my first laminate floor. I’ve always been a DIYer -or technically speaking, would that be DIMer, since I’m writing in the first person? Either way, Do-It-Yourself-er or Do-It-Myself-er, it is satisfying to have something
Since 2013 the Norns and Hela have been working with me on an Underworld journey for my own psychic healing, and as far as I know, Freud is the only one who considered a death-principle to accompany the pleasure-principle, and I wanted to follow his thinking on the matter.
I took my husband up to the cardiology clinic he goes to in Albany, NY yesterday for a simple “yes or no” for a procedure he needs on another part of his anatomy. After the usual amount of time waiting for the medical professionals to get around to coming into see us had already passed, I am left wondering, “Should I bill the doctor?”
So many people of my acquaintance have been busy with their own health issues or that of family members this week. That simple fact reminds me that we can take nothing for granted, as if we haven’t been made aware of that by the current pandemic. In fact with all the strife in the world right now and health issues going on at home, I have very little attention for more than I have to take care of in any given day.
I personally wasted -WASTED!- many years of my life on such negative emotional fuckery, which only served to wreck relationships and a marriage. None of it made me feel good at all. I wanted to be right, even when I was wrong, and I had too much pride to admit it. The cure was to finally see myself as I am, face my own resentments and step into my recurring fears of abandonment. This I did each time they came up, and gradually my negative emotions that were based upon fear dissolved and I became able to live my life with more clarity. I became more able to acknowledge when I was wrong, to apologize and save those friendships that really mattered to me. I shortened a lot of pencils journaling my way to self-understanding, and I became for the first time in my life truly able to EXPERIENCE Jesus’s great instruction on forgiveness. It took a lot of work!
Developing a spiritual, soul-full life must become a lifestyle practice. It cannot be static, it cannot be a daydream of something I will do someday, it must be honed and honored now, to the best of my ability. It must be flexible enough to meet the needs of the day and the demands of my life. For a spiritual lifestyle to be sustainable by me, it must sustain me. I must be open to the changes it will bring, perhaps even wreck, in my life.
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