I decided I was going to catch up and write a blog post today, so I turned on the computer, sat down, woke up the programs I normally look into and caught myself a half hour later daydreaming my way through facebook posts without retaining anything of what I had read.
I was in the writing flow yesterday and got called into work, as nobody else could be found willing to take a sports charter. Kind of annoyed to lose my flow, I nevertheless adapted and did what I had to. My school bus company worked hard to negotiate the sports charters and if nobody doesContinue reading “Being In the Flow & Positive Think”
It’s felt like a rough day. I’ve stood up for myself and my principles and had to take some hits on that. The result has been an inadvertent stepping into old emotional patterns that got triggered and the consequent struggle to rise above them.
Two weekends ago, I pulled up a very old rug in my bedroom. Underneath was nothing but powder left from the foam insulation pad. Then this past weekend, I put down my first laminate floor. I’ve always been a DIYer -or technically speaking, would that be DIMer, since I’m writing in the first person? Either way, Do-It-Yourself-er or Do-It-Myself-er, it is satisfying to have something
So many people of my acquaintance have been busy with their own health issues or that of family members this week. That simple fact reminds me that we can take nothing for granted, as if we haven’t been made aware of that by the current pandemic. In fact with all the strife in the world right now and health issues going on at home, I have very little attention for more than I have to take care of in any given day.
I personally wasted -WASTED!- many years of my life on such negative emotional fuckery, which only served to wreck relationships and a marriage. None of it made me feel good at all. I wanted to be right, even when I was wrong, and I had too much pride to admit it. The cure was to finally see myself as I am, face my own resentments and step into my recurring fears of abandonment. This I did each time they came up, and gradually my negative emotions that were based upon fear dissolved and I became able to live my life with more clarity. I became more able to acknowledge when I was wrong, to apologize and save those friendships that really mattered to me. I shortened a lot of pencils journaling my way to self-understanding, and I became for the first time in my life truly able to EXPERIENCE Jesus’s great instruction on forgiveness. It took a lot of work!
Developing a spiritual, soul-full life must become a lifestyle practice. It cannot be static, it cannot be a daydream of something I will do someday, it must be honed and honored now, to the best of my ability. It must be flexible enough to meet the needs of the day and the demands of my life. For a spiritual lifestyle to be sustainable by me, it must sustain me. I must be open to the changes it will bring, perhaps even wreck, in my life.
Sometimes I find a rare treasure of a book on the library shelf. Parker J. Palmer asked himself a question of the inner search: “Is the life I am living the same as the life that wants to live in me?” The result was his book, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. This book is a moving, written meditation as to how his own life answered his calling. He says that vocation does not come from willfulness, but from truly listening to and accepting the “true self” with all of its limitations and all of its potentials.
Every good day starts off with a cup of latte. In the ten years we’ve been together, my husband Alan and I have worn out 4-5 latte machines. The most reliable one we’ve found is Mr. Coffee’s latte maker, so each time we need to replace, we are brand loyal.
Thus suffering consciously by remaining present to the struggle is always succeeded by some kind of transcendence in a change of our Being. It may not even be a noticeable change, but one of quiet simplicity that gifts us greater stamina and confidence when the next struggle arises.