I personally wasted -WASTED!- many years of my life on such negative emotional fuckery, which only served to wreck relationships and a marriage. None of it made me feel good at all. I wanted to be right, even when I was wrong, and I had too much pride to admit it. The cure was to finally see myself as I am, face my own resentments and step into my recurring fears of abandonment. This I did each time they came up, and gradually my negative emotions that were based upon fear dissolved and I became able to live my life with more clarity. I became more able to acknowledge when I was wrong, to apologize and save those friendships that really mattered to me. I shortened a lot of pencils journaling my way to self-understanding, and I became for the first time in my life truly able to EXPERIENCE Jesus’s great instruction on forgiveness. It took a lot of work!